Bedtime Battles

I am going back to school to be a nurse and one of the required classes was English comp. We were supposed to write a "how-to" paper on our favorite "hobby". Well my hobbies now include changing a diaper in 20 seconds flat, moving objects out of the path of a crawler, how to get spit-up out of clothes/hair, etc. Well I decided to write a how-to on how to get a baby to go to bed. Here it is:

Every night around the same time I go through the same battle between my cranky baby and I, to see who will win. I call this infamous battle bedtime. I struggle to get my baby to go to sleep while he struggles to stay awake, afraid of what he may miss while he is counting sheep.
My night starts when I get home from work and pick my happy little boy up around five. I keep him as occupied as possible with a variety of toys, baby-proof objects, and things for him to chew on. Occasionally if those things start to bore him you could resort to giving him your cell phone, just so he will stay entertained until at least six. This will probably be your baby’s favorite time of the night, when dinner is served. Even after you think your baby might be full, it is your chance to stuff him as full as possible in hopes that he will not wake up hungry later.
After dinner, set your baby down to play longer so that you make sure he will be nice and tired later. At this point get as many chores as possible done before the “fussy” period begins. Try to keep him as happy as possible until at least seven, otherwise the rest of the night will all be in vain. Once it is seven, rush him off to his bath before he gets too unhappy. Now I believe the bath is the most crucial part of the whole night, if you are going to forget something don‘t forget the bath. Just remember, before whipping off your babies diaper check to make sure there are no surprises waiting for you. Splattered baby poop is enough to ruin anyone’s night. If you would like your baby to sleep well, a warm bath relaxes them enough to do the trick. My favorite bath wash is Johnson and Johnson Bedtime Bath and it seems to work magic.
After your baby is squeaky clean and lavender scented now it is time to dress them for bed. First you have to find clean pajamas that fit, and with a growing baby that isn’t an easy task. Then comes the really hard part. Most parents know that getting a baby in pajamas seems more like a wrestling match than anything, and there are really no helpful hints I can give to make it easier. Trying to put clothes on a rolling and bucking baby is almost as easy as trying to ride a skittish horse.
Once cleaned and clothed, the real battle ensues. You must make sure you have a full bottle on hand, for each baby this amount will be different depending on their eating habits. Make sure that you have enough so that you don’t run out before your baby is completely asleep or they will wake up. Get into a comfortable position because you will most likely be there awhile. I would also recommend playing a movie or music in the background. This will ensure that your baby won’t wake up at the slightest noise, which is good for both of you. As you are feeding them be sure to keep very still, you will hate yourself later if you are the cause of your baby screaming awake. Another trick I have learned is throw a thin blanket over your baby’s eyes to block out any extra light. Sometimes, rubbing their back as they are drifting off helps them fall into a more restful slumber.
Once they are asleep, do not be fooled, it will probably not last if you jump the gun and carry them to their crib too early. What I have found is if I lay him next to me on my own bed or couch first he won’t wake up. The downside is you will be stuck there until you feel it is safe to move your baby. Once your instincts tell you he is truly asleep, very carefully pick him up. It is very important, as much as you may want to, that you do not snuggle your baby to you or they will notice when you lay them down.
Before you start pulling out your hair, because in spite of all your best efforts your baby still wakes up, just remember all hope is not lost. If you are like me and the “cry it out” method just doesn’t work for you, try some soothing methods instead. If you have a musical mobile put it in use and try some light backrubs to try and lure your baby back to sleep. If this only agitates your baby more, try either rocking or singing him back to sleep. Sometimes giving your baby a bottle or pacifier puts them right back into a peaceful slumber. If all else fails invest in a good swing to do all the rocking and singing for you. The good news is once you get your baby to sleep in the crib, it’s usually for good.
This may all seem like a lot of work just to get a baby to sleep, but following all the steps will allow you to keep your hair. Just remember that it is called a battle for a reason, and you usually will win.

Just Because I hate posts without pictures:)